I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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