It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
