I want to stick my p in your. b.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
