you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
