that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
