So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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