Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
