Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How drunk are you?
Completed.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
