: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
