In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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