I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
