we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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