we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
