I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
