you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
