I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
