Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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