Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
