Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
