Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
