FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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