i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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