I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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