Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
