Ambien. No doubt about it.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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