so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
