does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
