How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
