All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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