ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
