I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
