Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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