pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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