help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
