names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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