How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
