I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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