Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
