my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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