And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
