when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
