Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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