Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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