DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We named our party play list daddy issues
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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