if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
