We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
