The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
