yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
