Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He passed out mid-signature
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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