You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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